Why Work-Life Balance Is Overrated — and What to Pursue Instead

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Balance. The word itself evokes images of a perfectly aligned scale, neither side tipping too far in either direction. Yet, achieving balance has never felt more difficult. According to Gallup’s 2024 State of the Global Workplace Report, a staggering 41% of employees globally report experiencing daily stress — the highest level Gallup has ever recorded.

What does it truly mean to live in balance? Is it a little of this and a little of that — a compromise where neither side gets enough? Does striving for balance ultimately create a lose-lose situation? Perhaps it’s something entirely different — a deeply personal state that evolves, shaped by the ebb and flow of our priorities.

The nature of balance

Balance is often thought of as the percentage of time spent on work and life, but is that definition too simplistic? Imagine an executive who spends 70% of their time working but feels fulfilled and energized by their professional role. Compare them to someone who spends an equal amount (50%) of time on personal and professional pursuits yet feels drained and unmotivated.

What about the person who works most of the time to provide, is home only 20% of the time but has a wonderful time with those they love and is also satisfied at work? Compare that to the person who gets their professional responsibilities out of the way in two days’ work but is unhappy in their personal environment. Who is truly in balance?

The truth is balance is relative. It’s not just about time allocation but the quality and joy derived from each side of the scale. One person’s thriving might look like another’s burnout, and that’s normal. The key lies in defining what balance means for you — not your colleagues, boss or artificial societal norms.

Beyond the scales

If balance is not about symmetry, perhaps it’s about alignment. Consider how what we value determines our balance. Not all aspects of life hold equal weight for everyone. For some, family may dominate their scale; for others, it’s career ambition. And what we value today may not be what we value later. We may value or prioritize time with family more during one phase of our lives than during others. When we align our time and energy with what we genuinely value, we find a sense of harmony, even if the scale appears “unbalanced” to outsiders.

Another perspective is to view balance as a question of joy. What if the idea of balance disappears entirely when joy becomes our guide? If we love most of what we do — whether at work or home — does the division of time matter? A day filled with purposeful tasks and meaningful relationships is a day well spent, regardless of its composition.

How we spend our time is our choice. Consider this: In a way, “I cannot” is inaccurate when answering whether we can or cannot attend something. “I cannot attend my daughter’s soccer game because I have a meeting” is inaccurate. What you mean to say is: “I will not attend the soccer game, as I want to be at an important business meeting.”

Force yourself to replace “I cannot” with “I choose not to” and see how that feels — you may choose how to spend your time differently as a result. Once you realize that your choices are yours and not that of the world around you, you will make better choices that bring harmony.

Finally, balance is often more about quality than quantity. Spending a lot of time on something does not guarantee fulfillment. Investing in short but deeply meaningful moments with family might feel more “balanced” than one who spends all weekend at home but is emotionally absent. Similarly, intentionality at work can transform long hours into rewarding experiences. True presence matters.

Considering your team’s needs

Balance is not just an individual pursuit but also about fostering a supportive environment for your team. Check in regularly with your team members. Are they happy? Are their needs being met? One powerful tool to explore this is the “Stay Interview,” a concept championed by Beverly Kaye. Unlike exit interviews, which come too late, stay interviews are proactive conversations that help uncover what keeps team members engaged and what might drive them away.

Ask them, “Are you happy at work, and what can I do to make things better?” By actively listening and catering to your team’s individual needs, you create an environment where collective energy and well-being can thrive.

The business athlete mindset

As an executive coach working with hundreds of senior leaders, I’ve observed that those who sustain their energy and avoid burnout adopt a “business athlete” mindset. Athletes do not train endlessly; they rest, recover and listen to their bodies. Similarly, leaders who excel over the long term know when to push forward and when to pull back.

This mindset revolves around three core principles. The first is self-awareness: regularly assessing what drains and replenishes you. The second is intentional recovery, which means prioritizing activities that recharge your mental, emotional and physical energy.

Lastly, leaders rely on resilience practices such as mindfulness, exercise and meaningful social connections to bounce back from stress. Together, these practices create a sustainable approach to maintaining energy and focus over the long haul.

Is the term “work-life balance” bullsh*t?

Perhaps the entire concept of work-life balance is flawed. Instead of striving for a mythical equilibrium, what if we focused on integrating work and life into a cohesive, joyful whole? This integration acknowledges that our professional and personal lives are deeply intertwined. By embracing this reality, we can craft a life where each domain supports and enhances the other.

“Work-life integration fosters balance as a byproduct,” explains Laura Fay, executive editor at BTS. “It’s not about rigidly dividing work and personal life but about creating systems that let them ebb and flow together seamlessly.” Trust is essential for making this approach work: “Employers need to give people the freedom to manage their time without micromanagement or fear of judgment.”

A guiding principle from Singapore

A pivotal moment in my journey to understand balance came at a YPO conference in Singapore. In a room filled with thousands of CEOs and founders, we listened to a keynote speaker (I wish I remembered his name) who had sat at the deathbed of thousands of people, offering them comfort in their final moments. The speaker shared a profound truth: At the end of life, people almost universally ask the same two questions: “Was I loved enough?” and “Did I love enough?”

This insight has served as a guiding principle for me. When I reflect on both sides of the scale — personal and professional — I ask myself whether I am creating and experiencing enough love, connection and purpose. This perspective reframes balance as a pursuit of what truly matters rather than a rigid division of time.

A call to action

So, how can you move from burnout to balance? Take these steps to get started:

Define your priorities

Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you. Write it down. Revisit it often.

Measure joy, not hours

Evaluate your day based on the moments that brought you joy or fulfillment rather than how you divided your time.

Build your energy toolkit

Identify activities that energize you and make them non-negotiable parts of your routine. Experiment with practices until you find what works.

Engage with your team

Conduct regular check-ins and consider tools like the “Stay Interview” to understand and address your team’s unique needs and aspirations.

As you embark on this journey, remember that balance is not a destination but a dynamic process. Don’t set yourself up for failure. There will be tough times and better ones. The scales will tip, life will evolve and so will you. The goal is not perfection but a life rich in purpose, joy and resilience. Start today — craft a life that energizes and inspires you at work and beyond.

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